In life, we have all been through almost similar stages of friendship and abandonment.
Definitely at some point we would have had a lot of friends, usually this is when we were either 5 or 6 years old. At this stage, the world was our playground and all we did was play around with our pals and become extremely close with everyone we meet. This was the blissful stage where we knew nothing about abandonment. Everyone was our friend and we loved everyone back. This is the first stage: Naivety.
The next stage is when we start forming groups of our own. This usually happens in our teen years. We form these groups to feel the sense of belonging. When you’re in a group, you practically share every tiny detail, including stories of your friends from other groups. This is the phase where you witness your first case of abandonment. Most teenagers jump around from one group to another, maintaining diplomatic relations with everyone. This is like a safety net. Kinda like a backup plan. You know, just in case if one group turns on you, you’d still have another group to have your back. Lame and selfish, but hey! We’ve all been there. And the first time your best friend turns on you, it hurts you like you’ve been stabbed multiple times in the heart. But you figure out that, that person wasn’t really your soul mate. This is the second stage: Realization.
And then starts off another stage, when you’re in your Twenties and Thirties, the phase where you have groups for a specific reason. By now, you wouldn’t be as close to your childhood friends as you probably were back in those days. Instead you have new friends like friends from your poker group, guitar class buddies, work friends, party friends, Friday Night Bar friends, Game Night friends, School friends, College friends, Football friends, Star Wars friends, Beer buddies, Yada Yada Yada.
These kinda friend groups helps you keep your personal, professional and private life separate and thereby keeping them individually sorted. This is the third stage: Maturity.
And then, you’d be in your forties and fifties. and you’d have kids completing off their High School and then basically your friend circle would include your kids friends parents and your next door neighbors. You barely get time to meet all your friends that you had when you were in your thirties. Luckily, neither do they. Your life right now, seems to be plateauing to the state of monotony. You would’ve settled, and at this age, you really just want to settle and take care of your family. At this stage, you wouldn’t really go out and make new friends. You would be happy with the ones you have. This is the fourth stage: Contentment.
But you know what? Through all these stages of friendships, you might end up being lucky enough to still have some people who are extremely close. Only the most dear and honest ones, who genuinely wanted to be a part of your life and witness the big moments together. The kinda friends who successfully managed to maintain their position in your life through your stages of life. The kinda friends who have seen you grow as a person and love you for who you have were and have become.
These are the kinda friends who you would take along with you on a boat if you were ever to set sail into the wide ocean, knowing very well that you wouldn’t ever wanna be ashore again. I know my friends who I would want to take on the boat: One just recently started off her Architectural Studies, One is packing her bags to go off to Canada, One is enjoying a happy relationship, One is married to the Other, One is having an amazing time at his new job, One is one his way to London, and lastly, my The One, is yet to make an appearance in my life, but I know she’s somewhere around the dock.
So yeah, think real hard and try to find these people in your life. Think to yourself, “if I were to go on an endless voyage, who would I take along? Who are those people that I’d want to spend the rest of my life with, on that boat?”
P.S Life doesn’t end when you reach 50. It just starts over. #IfYouKnowWhatIMean